Update: This is a post from another blog. I migrated it to this blog because it’s an important part of my story. This was posted just over three years before I fully surrendered and accepted that I am an alcoholic.
For some time now, alcohol has been more powerful in my life than I would like. There are occasions when I can drink a beer or two and that’s it, done, no more. But more often than not, it doesn’t stop at a few. And, worse that more often than not has become nearly a daily occurrence.
I’m drinking to excess daily. I don’t know exactly how I got here, but pretty much every day ends with drinks as I’m cooking dinner and that extends into the night until I put Mr. Grey to bed. When he goes to bed, I’m usually just drunk enough to fall asleep in the bed with him, and that’s what ends the drinking.
This cannot continue. While this hasn’t impacted my ability to function in my job or in my life, I recognize that it’s a problem. I recognize that it will impact my life — sooner or later. I haven’t hit rock bottom, but I’m circling the drain.
It’s time to break the cycle.
I’m worried that I’m biting off more than I can chew. But I’m committed to taking 30 days off from booze.
I expect it to suck. I expect it to be challenging.
The 4th of July is next week, normally I’d have a few beers. I have business meetings in two weeks where I’d normally have a drink or two at happy hour. My MS Ride comes up in 3 weeks, and I’d normally have a beer or two after the ride. There are likely to be family events and get together’s with friends where I’d normally have a drink or two. And I’m publicly stating on the Internets that I’m not drinking for 30 days.
Today is day one. I’m planning to make it a habit to write about the experience each day, not only to keep track of how this goes, but also to keep myself honest.